Oscar time! Let’s Live Blog!

Hello, everyone! It’s that time again when I annually live blog the Oscars. My one annual post! I have this blogging thing on lockdown.

I decided this year that skipping the E! red carpet pre-shows was good for my soul, so I’ll be back at 8:30 to live-blog the show. Join me, won’t you?

8:10: A few thoughts before the show begins: I have seen 5 of the 8 Best Picture nominees, and I would rank them, from best to notsomuch: Boyhood, Selma, The Imitation Game, The Theory of Everything, Birdman. (Haven’t yet seen: Whiplash, American Sniper or The Grand Budapest Hotel.) It seems like Birdman has the momentum and may take the top prize, but I thought it was a technical marvel that was very far up its own birdass. (Pardon my language.) Even though I agree with its main thesis that Hollywood should maybe start making films that aren’t just about white guys in capes.

Also, I’ve caught up on the outfits by watching the ABC pre-show for about half an hour, and I feel like an infinitely happier person for it. E!’s red carpet coverage runs for like 4 hours, and here are a few things I managed to do in the precious time I regained: Watch 2 old episodes of Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix, cook a mushroom risotto, slice open my finger chopping onions for risotto, swear, bandage finger, eat risotto, go shopping for an exercise ball, inflate exercise ball, collapse because manually inflating an exercise ball is harder than any workouts I intend to do on the exercise ball, start a live blog, write some pre-emptive thoughts. Number of times I regretted not watching Giuliana Rancic force a celebrity to stick her hand in a shoebox with a camera for a mani-close-up: Zero. Life’s too short.

ANYWAY. Back in 20 minutes for some Oscar goodness. Let’s do this! (more…)