I have not been the world’s most consistent blogger this year, friends. No freaking duh, they thought, scrolling down to realize this was blog post #3 of 2011. Okay, it’s been a while. I may have needed to reset my password to gain access, and I have the same three passwords for everything. Not an awesome start to the reboot of my blogging career (or, you know, hobby).

So why am I here? I had a slight revelation today. Not surprisingly, it involved my complete obsession with entertainment and awards shows. I know that the world has gone all to hell and that I should probably turn this into a blog about #occupying something – you’re legally required to hashtag that, right? – but whatever. And so I begin, and as with all good fables, this one takes place on Twitter.

This afternoon, I was watching tweets come in – you know, as you do – and I saw one from Billy Crystal, and it’s a credit to my profound Oscar love and nostalgia that even though I’m not remotely old enough to qualify for Medicare, I follow Billy Crystal on Twitter. The tweet said, and I quote directly for posterity, “Am doing the Oscars so the young woman in the pharmacy will stop asking my name when I pick up my prescriptions. Looking forward to the show” (Also, not to harp on the age thing, but way to stay current with the kids with a prescription drug reference, Billy. Okay, I know I just made a Medicare joke. I’m a little rusty. Let’s skip ahead.)

Now, I saw the tweet as it came in, and for a few moments it seemed like no one else did. I waited for Twitter to blow up (or at least the tiny little corner of it that I follow, filled with entertainment journalists, bloggers and celebrities), but nothing happened. I actually tweeted, “Did I just hallucinate?” and “Did Billy Crystal tweet in a forest with no one around to hear?” I had a Twitter conversation with an awards blogger asking, “Is this real?” And it started spreading, a few more people noticed, and the real journalists and bloggers – I can hardly consider myself a blogger given that my last post was a Golden Globes live-blog, but hey, just saying – started confirming. And suddenly I got my “breaking news alert” email from The Hollywood Reporter and realized, “Holy crap, I knew this before The Hollywood Reporter.” And if you don’t believe me, check my timeline (or look to the right): this is all true.

I didn’t break a story or anything; I dumb luck-edly saw a tweet as it happened, and you could really attribute this to the populism of Twitter and the spread of news in the digital era more than any particular skill or work on my part. Seriously, I did nothing of any value whatsoever. But as the adrenaline rushed and I @-ed people and made sarcastic comments – my particular forte, remember, b-rollers? – I thought, “Damn, this is fun.”

I miss blogging, and having the ability to share my thoughts in larger than 140 character bites (not that that’s always a good thing, this post might wrap up by Christmas). But life gets in the way when you have a full-time job and attempt to go to the gym enough to justify the membership that you optimistically signed up for, and (in a related story) laziness takes over. So anyway, this is my mea culpa: I’ll try to do better, and be worthy of your time. And in exchange, please let me know what you’d like to read, so that I can avoid just making this a brain dump and hopefully provide something focused and valuable. I am clearly in no position to make any guarantees, but I’ll do my best, and I can promise one thing: With awards season just around the bend, I will live-blog the holy bejeesus out of it, sarcastically and joyfully.

You’ve been warned, Billy Crystal.


  1. Gee, it’s good to have something funny and topical to read right now that’s not so political I can’t stand it. Thanks for coming back.

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