Idol Live Blog – Results Show

8:50: Gearing up for the Idol results show this evening here at Casa b-roll. Now, as previously stated, I don’t particularly enjoy the Idol results shows – too much Ryan, too little music – and I hate the suspense of not knowing who America (potentially stupidly) voted off. But I shall forge ahead, faithful readers. See you in 10 minutes.

9:00: And we’re opening with a “Dream” montage! And that ties into the Stones because, well, I don’t know.

9:02: Ryan enters by way of another staircase. Why does he feel the need to enter via staircase every single show?

9:04: I like Simon setting up a personal space boundary. How very British.

9:05: If the judges use their save on Tim Urban, I am FREAKING DONE.

9:06: David Cook! Singing the Stones! Please, God, make this in lieu of a Top 12 group performance. Does this make anyone else nostalgic for the days when Idol was, you know, good?

9:07: That was fun. Could he sing “Hello” next? That was always my favorite David Cook performance.

9:10: How would the Kris Allen Ford commercials be different if Adam Lambert had won? Besides copious amounts of eyeliner? I think that instead of a casual vibe, there’d be a screeching car chase. Thoughts?

9:11: Allow me to take a moment to plead with Subway: Please, for the love of God, retire the “5 dollar foot long” jingle. I’m begging you.

9:14: Oh good, the first Ford commercial of the year. Let’s take a moment to pause and ask: Why, again?

9:15: Ironically, I want to buy a Ford less now. This is an excruciating amount of pimping.

9:17: Paige is in the bottom 3. Yeah, that makes sense. Even though it’s a week too late.

9:18: I never want to hear Snooki’s name mentioned on this show again. Let’s not extend her 15 minutes, okay? Thanks.

9:20: If Justin Timberlake wasn’t already in a deep depression due to the Aaron Kelly comparisons, Randy’s impression of JT’s “tender moments voice” ought to do the trick.

9:21: And Tim joins Paige in the Bottom 3. Again – America finally gets it right. Now let’s send Lacey or Katie to join them and we’ll be all set, yeah?

9:25: A passenger in this Southwest Airlines commercial looked disarmingly like Peyton Manning. Or maybe I’m just confused because Manning is in every commercial in the history of ever.

9:26: Didn’t Orianthe sing this exact same song on a So You Think You Can Dance results show last summer? There’s some audience crossover, guys. Be aware.

9:28: This song does not get more entertaining the second time around.

9:29: I’d like my own wind machine to follow me around. I wonder how expensive that would be.

9:32: While surfing the web on this commercial break, I just saw the following headline: “Kendra Wilkinson Done With Body Painting.” Really, world? This is news? Dear God.

9:34: Wait, Didi got emotional last night? Color me surprised.

9:37: Crystal is safe. That is really all I cared about. Thank God.

9:38: Is the show running long tonight? Because there is a lot of talking. Ryan is making this terribly interactive and I am LOSING. INTEREST.

9:39: Kara to Katie: “One of your biggest issues is pitch. You have real issues with that.” I’m not even going to comment further. I think it’s all there.

9:40: So Big Mike will be safe (duh), and it’ll be down to Casey and Lacey. I have a hard time believing that the hot guy will be on the empty stool of doom.

9:42: My roommate Monisha: “I’m okay with any one of them going home.” AMEN.

9:43: Attention juvenile girls of America: STOP VOTING FOR TIM. This is going to be Sanjaya all over again, isn’t it?

9:46: Nice try, Toyota. “Thanks for coming! We’ll try not to murder you this time!”

9:48: 3 seconds into Ke$ha’s performance and I already feel dumber. I heard her talking recently about how real artists sing live. I can see her point: this song is really a vocal masterpiece.

9:50: When you bring in white boy rappers, the song’s in big trouble.

9:51: I think we can now officially classify that as three minutes of our lives that we just won’t get back. Well done to everyone involved. Blah Blah Blah indeed.

9:55: And…Lacey will sing for the save. Um, yeah. She will not at all be saved. Sorry, sweetie.

9:57: What exactly do we think the judges are talking about right now? It’s certainly not saving Lacey. I think Randy and Simon are comparing cars. “Yo, I just bought a Bentley, dawg.” “No way!”

9:59: Goodbye, Lacey. Thanks for the, uh, memories.

Well, that was fun-ish. And either I didn’t catch next week’s performance theme or Ryan forgot to tell us while he was chatting awkwardly with the contestants. Here’s hoping it’s something good. Until then!

One comment

  1. JTs tender moments– calls to mind Me You You Me Me You ALL NIGHT– not the 2010 oeuvre is it? Also Ke?ha su*.

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