Important announcement: I really hate the Result shows. A lot. They’re a bizarre combo of Ryan-babble filler, gawd awful group routines, the occasional decent guest singer and a thirty second reveal of THE ONLY REASON YOU’RE WATCHING IN THE FIRST PLACE. I’m not a fan; in fact, I confess that I usually cheat by DVR-ing the show and checking the results on Twitter before watching. Don’t judge me – it’s how I stay sane. So this won’t be a long recap, just some basic thoughts.

First of all, MAKE THE GROUP ROUTINES STOP. I know I emphasized that a lot, but Sweet Jesus – the songs are prerecorded, the staging is painful, and the arrangements are Disney in Hell.

Second: Welcome back, Matt Giraud, Scott MacIntyre, and Scott MacIntyre’s pitch problems. Thanks for coming! You know, I heart Billy Joel, but he has far, far better songs than “Tell Her About It.” Really, no “Only the Good Die Young”? “River of Dreams”? “You May Be Right?” Okay, then.

And hey, speaking of stupid choices: America say what? Paige, Katie, Aaron and Andrew survived the carnage? I’m 0 for 4 in official Idol predictions? No Lilly or Katelyn in the Top 12 (I’m more okay losing Todrick and Alex)? I have to keep listening to Lacey Brown and Tim Urban? Oh God.

So as we head into the Top 12 with Idol apparently sailing right on over that shark, I’ll plan to live blog next week’s Rolling Stones-themed performance show in the hope that it’s not an utter catastrophe. Can you feel my optimism? For God’s sake, contestants, step it up; if you slaughter the Stones, you wound my soul.

Until then!