Welcome to the Oscar live blog! Keep refreshing the page for updates. And please holler back – post your own reactions in the comment section.

5:15: Howdy! I jut polished off a venti mocha frappucino, so I’ll be awake and live-blogging until Thursday. A few pre-red carpet thoughts:

• I spent two hours inside on a glorious early-spring day so I could watch probable-Best Picture winner The Hurt Locker before the show. If it doesn’t win, I will be perturbed. If it doesn’t win AND I have to listen to a James Cameron victory speech, I’ll be downright pissed off.
• I have now seen 7 of the 10 Best Picture nominees: The Hurt Locker, Avatar, Inglourious Basterds, An Education, Up, Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire – this is the first and last time I will type out the entire title of that film tonight – and Up in the Air. I haven’t (but will, eventually) see The Blind Side, and haven’t (and probably never will) see District 9 and A Serious Man. I don’t particularly enjoy aliens or the Coen brothers.
• My upset prediction for the evening: Inglourious Basterds pulls off a surprise Best Picture victory after Avatar and Hurt Locker split the vote. If this happens, I will be insufferable to a James Cameron-like degree.
• Acting predictions: Mo’Nique, Waltz, Streep, Bridges. No real surprises.

I usually spend the Oscars glued to my laptop reading the live-blog reax of others. And now here I am, blogging for you fine people on my very own free WordPress page. This is, in its own small way, my Oscar moment, and I’m completely thrilled to be here.

So, that’s it for now. Back with red carpet reactions in 45 minutes.

6:00: Red carpet time! We’re here with Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic and Jay Manuel and holy hell I can’t believe that I have to spend two solid hours with these people. Remember when Joan Rivers used to prowl the carpet, and you lived in constant fear of what she’d say? Ah, the good old days.

6:05: Wow, celebrities are showing up at 6? Didn’t they used to show up at 7:40, and everyone killed time until then?

6:09: Anna Kendrick looks lovely, but I’m conflicted about pale people wearing pink/peach. They always look nude-ish.

6:11: Ryan to Anna Kendrick: “Do you know Mo’Nique?” Um, they’ve been nominated in the same category 436 times this year. I’m guessing yes.

6:12: Mo’Nique looks gorgeous, by the way. It’s also amazing how everything that she says sounds like a poetry jam. I’m expecting a monster speech from her tonight.

6:17: First reaction: “Wow, Mariah Carey is more clothed than I expected her to be.” Then I saw the leg slit, and amended to, “Nope, that’s about right.”

6:20: We didn’t get a Mickey Rooney interview because it was apparently integral that we watch a candid phone-cam video of Giuliana in her hotel room instead, so Mickey will have to wait out the commercial break. That’s okay, he’s only 104 years old. He can wait.

6:22: On this commercial break, I’d like to let you know that I may have to go radio silent occasionally for arrival of friends and takeout food. Just FYI.

6:25: Not loving Zoe Saldana’s dress. There’s a LOT going on there – sequins, pompoms, multiple shades of purple. Pick a theme and stay there.

6:29: I kinda love Vera Farmiga’s dress. Lovely shade, and very sculptural.

6:30: This is the second time that Lady Gaga has been shown, despite her having absolutely nothing to do with the Oscars. MAKE. IT. STOP.

6:33: If you’re reading but not watching, I unfortunately don’t have time to link to every dress I mention, but WireImage.com should have you covered.

6:36: TINA FEY!!! This evening is instantly better.

6:38: Funny watching Ryan try to shunt Jason Reitman aside for James Cameron. And thus the evening’s pecking order is established.

6:40: James Cameron trying to establish for the 8,762nd time that he and Kathryn Bigelow are TOTALLY FINE, THANKS FOR ASKING.

6:44: I think I’ll buy Jay Manuel’s coat for my dad. He would totally rock the gray/black paisley.

6:45: Commercial reaction to the new Celebrity Apprentice – Rod Blagojevich is totally, completely without shame, right? Just so we’re clear.

6:49: There’s a conversation going on right now in my apartment whether the lovely lady accompanying Lenny Kravitz is his daughter or a date. I think I should move on without further comment.

6:52: You know how I ranked 30 Rock and The Office highly on my TV-watching list? In a related story, I cannot wait for the Tina Fey-Steve Carell film Date Night.

6:55: Re: Sandra Bullock’s dress: Kinda love it on her, not sure I would on anyone else. It’s very unique and risky, so props for that. I’m a little bit rooting for Sandra since I found out that she showed up at the Razzies with a cartload of All About Steve DVDs. Also since the commercial for the Barbara Walters special when Barbara solemnly said, “So, Sandy…” and she responded, totally deadpan, with, “Yes, Babs…”

7:03: Amanda Seyfried is there, because…I don’t know. Dear John isn’t nominated, I know that for damn sure.

7:06: Wow, lotsa presenters this year. They also all seem to be young and good-looking. I don’t disagree with this policy, I just think it’s worth mentioning.

7:12: Real-life conversation – My friend and fellow Oscar-watcher Stephanie: “Is Miley Cyrus nominated?” Me: “Oh, good God, no!” Was I emphatic enough?

7:14: Giuliana is “feeling” SJP’s gladiator dress. I am not.

7:16: Helen Mirren is waiting to be interviewed. FOR GOD’S SAKE, DEFER TO THE DAME.

7:18: Clooney is in the house! Looking gorgeous but in need of a haircut.

7:20: Don’t like Charlize Theron’s dress. Jay Manuel negatively critiques by saying it “cups her chest”; I say “it makes her boobs look weird.” Tomato, to-mah-to.

7:21: Seeing lots of bold, pattern-y dresses this year. I can see many of these ending up simultaneously on a best AND worst-dressed list.

7:25: Matt Damon!! My 1997 teenage crush just came screaming back. I adore him unconditionally.

7:27: Colin Firth, looking sharp (obviously). I really loved A Single Man.

7:29: I love Adam Shankman (adore Hairspray and SYTYCD) so I really, really hope that he pulls this off. No pressure, Adam.

7:31: Meryl Streep = classy. And brushing lint off of Seacrest’s shoulder during their interview? Awesome.

7:35: Okay, I’m ready for the show to start. I’m done with the “who are you wearing” banter.

7:38: Ryan to Keanu Reeves: “You’re no stranger to this red carpet.” Yeah, he’s been nominated a bunch of times. Also, the woman next to him is holding a manila folder full of papers; either his date brought homework, or he brought a publicist.

7:39: Gabourey Sidibe: “This is just like prom!” Except not at all. Redeemed herself by working the dress-cam and speaking the phrase, “If fashion was porn, this dress would be the money shot.” It would, by the way – she looks stunning.

7:42: RDJ! J’adore.

7:49: Has Gerard Butler watered down his accent? He’s one of the few Scotsmen I can understand without subtitles.

7:52: Correction: the woman with the folder is apparently with Ryan/E!, as she’s still in the shot. That makes more sense.

7:55: Khloe Kardashian is going to be on the fashion review show? Okay, E! has officially given this family too much exposure.

7:57: Can’t wait for the show to start. Also can’t wait for my food to arrive. If this happens simultaneously, there will be serious issues.

8:00: ABC opens their red carpet coverage with the cheesiest possible montage. They actually said the words, “world’s greatest actors and actresses” over a shot of Jessica Alba. Wow.

8:02: How’d they get all 5 Best Supporting Actress nominees together AT THE SAME TIME?! I’m in awe at the ABC wranglers.

8:03: Stephanie: “Maggie Gyllenhaal is wearing a tie-dyed dress.” Yes, yes she is.

8:06: Every nominee is here. Why, oh why, are we interviewing Zac Efron?

8:12: Helen Mirren and Christopher Plummer’s interview was shorter than Efron’s, and it concluded with Sherri Sheppard saying, “Thank you for talking.” As opposed to miming? Sweet Lord.

8:15: If we get an extended Taylor Lautner interview, I’m filing an official complaint.

8:18: I’m with Jackie – not at all enjoying Kathy Ireland. Also, for a lovely woman, that’s a terrible dress choice. I had to search Wikipedia to see if she was pregnant, which is never a good sign.

8:20: I love Modern Family so deeply that even a commercial brings me great joy.

8:21: If the delivery guy comes during the opening of the Oscars, so help me God, he will not receive a tip. Just a furious glare.

8:24: And here’s the Lautner interview. Followed by Meryl Streep. These are the moments that I have a love/hate relationship with popular culture.

8:26: Last commercial break! Up next: the show. I’m brimming with glee.

8:30: Here we go! Wow, that is a very round stage. And here are all the nominees! Very cool. Are they about to burst into song?

8:33: The delivery guy just interrupted NPH. It’s like a bitch-slap from God.

8:34: Dear American Idol contestants: THAT is how you sing live.

8:36: These two are playing nicely off of each other, though some of the jokes are a tad lame. The “Damn Helen Mirren” was hilarious though.

8:39: Loved the Avatar joke, even though Sam Worthington is NOT amused. Does anyone involved with that film have a sense of humor?

8:42: Why does Alec Baldwin keep slipping into a faux-British accent? Just curious. Any ideas?

8:44: Best Supporting Actor! Here we go. Wow, these are long clip reels. Nice to have edited reels instead of out-of-context, 30 second clips, though.

8:48: Waltz! Perfect choice – he was mesmerizing, funny, charming, terrifying. And now I get to post this clip: “That’s a bingo!”

8:49: Confession: I typed that write-up before the award was announced. But, I mean, duh, right?!

8:50: This speech is very nice. I’m waiting for a commercial break, though – my french fries await. Wrap it up, Christoph.

8:51: After a TWENTY ONE MINUTE OPENING SEGMENT, I’m adjourning – briefly – for a food break. Back soon (unless something life-altering happens).

8:58: This is going to be Up, right? Yes. Duh. Can we get an unpredictable category up in here, just for some drama? Maybe sound editing or something?

9:01: Really? Miley’s giving an award for music? Up next: I shall give an award for fitness excellence.

9:02: Did Anika Noni Rose know, when she showed up to record her Princess and the Frog songs in a t-shirt and no makeup, that it would end up on the Oscars? Probably not, right?

9:03: Props to the show editors. The song/acting clips have been really well produced. Oh, and “The Weary Kind” just won, in a not-at-all-shocking result. In case you’re interested.

9:11: I hate those “The Oscars will right back!” commercials. Either come back or don’t. Don’t tease.

9:12: And the award for the world’s most awesome pairing goes to…Tina Fey and RDJ! Congrats, you two! This is hilarious, by the way. Totally brilliant.

9:15: Hurt Locker wins Original Screenplay! Cut to gamely-applauding-but-not-thrilled Tarantino. This does not bode well for my Basterds upset prediction.

9:16: Confession: I liked The Hurt Locker, but I didn’t think, “Wow, that was the best movie of the past year!”

9:17: A John Hughes tribute. Appropriately funny and poignant.

9:22: Update: the tribute is still going on. It’s lovely, but this show won’t end for another 6 hours if they maintain this pace.

9:28: Why are they playing “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” for Carey Mulligan and Zoe Saldana? They’re not 14.

9:31: Kind of stunned that Wallace and Gromit didn’t win. Isn’t that automatic, like Pixar in the animated feature category?

9:33: Rooting in the short doc category for the Booth Gardner guys. Because I kinda know the producer. Oh yeah, I just name-dropped.

9:34: Crap. They lost.

9:35: Wow, producer lady. Way to hijack the acceptance speech.

9:38: How long did this make-up job on Ben Stiller take? That was funny at first, but wow, did it go on too long.

9:42: Star Trek wins best makeup. I have nothing interesting to say.

9:44: This kinda makes me want to see A Serious Man. Kudos, editors.

9:48: And now my public service announcement: See In the Loop. It is completely, utterly hysterical. I want it to win very, very badly (although this is a tough category).

9:50: Whoa. Maybe a Precious upset? Everyone thought Up in the Air would take this. And interesting how they’re announcing this RIGHT before Mo’Nique’s category. Hmmm…

9:52: To quote my post on Friday: “I’m the idiot who tears up as the Best Adapted Screenplay winner realizes a lifelong dream.” In a related story…

9:54: Wow, Lauren Bacall’s still got it, no?

9:55: I wish I hadn’t laughed at Robin Williams’ totally tasteless joke. And yet I did.

9:57: I’ll say it in advance: congratulations, Mo’Nique. Totally deserved.

10:00: Well, that’s how you give an acceptance speech. For future reference.

10:06: Isn’t it a conflict of interest to have Sigourney Weaver give this award to the art directors of Avatar? Because honestly, no one else has a chance in hell at this award.

10:07: I love how the art-direction of this moment is “a giant copper bookshelf.”

10:08: “Jim Cameron, this Oscar sees you.” I almost threw up.

10:10: Young Victoria wins for costume design. Thrilling. Close up of Michael Sheen; apparently the Oscar director heard the winner and shouted “find me a British person to cut to!”

10:13: Twilight is coming! Be still, my beating heart!

10:15: Best performance by a supporting actress: the Starbucks barista. I am super-duper awake.

10:18: So Kristen Stewart’s personality never really changes. Not in movies or real life. Good to have confirmation.

10:20: Way to get me invested in a horror movie reel: show early Johnny Depp footage. Craftily done, editors.

10:21: Um, Edward Scissorhands and Twilight are not horror. At all. Even a little.

10:23: This was a brilliant idea. Morgan Freeman should narrate absolutely everything. Without exception.

1026: I’m zoning out right now. I’m sorry, I just can’t get excited about sound editing/mixing. Although congrats, guys. Job well done.

10:34: Sandra Bullock’s dress looks sparklier onstage. That’s a good thing.

10:35: How does Avatar win a cinematography award? Wasn’t that whole movie mostly done via MacBook? I’m confused.

10:37: Does the Ghost music lead into a Patrick Swayze tribute/In Memoriam? Yes, it does. Prepare Kleenex…

10:39: James Taylor singing “Yesterday” to the In Memoriam is a flat-out-genius choice. [Update: It was “In My Life.” Also a brilliant choice. The caffeine was wearing off right…about…now.]

10:46: The SYTYCD dancers! Cool. Although, do we all remember the fiasco that was Savion Glover tap-dancing to the score of Saving Private Ryan? Yeah, that was appropriate.

10:50: I have to say – I know I’m a fan of SYTYCD, so I’m not without bias. But this is freaking cool.

10:52: I’m glad Up won. This score is so beautiful and poignant. Perfectly befits the film.

10:53: “If you want to be creative, it’s not a waste of time.” Amen, brother.

10:55: Again, how does Avatar not win visual effects? I mean, seriously.

10:57: Up in the Air was excellent, although it’s amazing how quickly it lost awards-season steam.

10:59: An Oscar-themed Modern Family commercial? COMPLETE AND UTTER BLISS.

11:01: Matt Damon presents best doc! I adored The Cove but would be okay with a Food, Inc. victory as well. I saw The Cove director do a Q&A at Silverdocs; seeing him accept an award from Matt Damon would be ridiculously cool.

11:04: Woot to The Cove! Everyone see this film. You’ll never go to Sea World again, and rightfully so.

11:07: Best editing. The Hurt Locker. Like Up in the Air, I’m losing steam.

11:10: Oscar announcer: “Coming up: Kate Winslet, Sean Penn and some special guests!” My roommate Monisha: “Cause Sean Penn and Kate Winslet are totally ordinary.”

11:14: The Dancing with the Stars promo led to a conversation about Chad Ochocinco that lasted longer than it should have.

11:15: A stageful of lamps! Why, exactly?

11:16: The White Ribbon is the frontrunner for foreign film, but supposedly Ajami and Un Prophete have been gaining momentum. In case you care.

11:17: And they all lose. I’m AWESOME at this whole prediction thing.

11:20: After the Avatar clip, James Cameron nods knowingly, like, “Why, yes, I am amazing. Thank you for asking.”

11:22: So, supposedly 8 minutes left and at least four awards left to present. Methinks this will go overtime.

11:23: “I’m a PC and I still haven’t found an advertising strategy as good as Mac!” Sorry, I’m getting punchy.

11:25: Interesting that they’re bringing back the personal introduction thing from last year. More interesting: that they didn’t do it with supporting actors, just leads.

11:29: Tim Robbins FTW. Excellent speech.

11:30: Wait, Jeremy Renner was in SWAT? I don’t know why that surprised me, but it does.

11:33: Jeff Bridges. So far 3 for 3 in my (totally boring) choices.

11:34: We’re four minutes over and Jeff Bridges is (adorably) rambling. Adam Shankman is having a coronary.

11:40: This presenting group for “Best Actress” is an eclectic group. That’s really all that I have to say.

11:42: My friend Suzanne predicts a Helen Mirren victory (see the Comments section). In the event of a shocking upset, credit where it’s due.

11:46: Stanley Tucci introducing Meryl Streep was divine. And the Oscar goes to…

11:49: …Sandra Bullock. Good for her, although I still would’ve voted for Carey Mulligan. Change my mind with an amazing speech, Sandy.

11:51: Yeah, that was awesome. Okay, you win, universe. Sandra deserved it.

11:52: Why is Barbra Streisand wearing a business suit, may I ask? And with how delighted she sounded about the possibility of a woman director, does this strike anyone else as a stacked deck?

11:55: My goal for this category was “not Cameron.” Yes, Avatar was visionary. And I know it’s stereotypical, but: it was time for a girl to win that damn thing.

11:57: My caffeine has worn off. I’m a corpse with a laptop. WRAP THIS THING UP.

11:58: Well, thanks to Tom Hanks for hearing my plea. That was abrupt. Congrats, Hurt Locker. I don’t even care that my Basterds prediction didn’t hold up at this point.

12:01: Okay, well, Kathryn Bigelow is about to collapse and so am I. Thanks to everyone who was interested enough to read parts or all of this nearly 3,000 word (!) inaugural live blog. Congrats to you, the winners, the nominees, the lovers, the dreamers and me.

Until the Tony Awards! No, seriously, I’ll definitely be live-blogging those.

Good night/morning!